as recorded and depicted by MARIE ENGER.
You know how like, a long ass time ago our ancestors we were all “Huh, maybe stop spitting in the face of nature quite so much guys, the towns are floodin’ and also the water is all on fire now.” And then the Wizard Kings were all like “How about eat lightning.” And then our ancestors were all like “Woah, they sure kicked our asses, we super got the point, carry on. Do not mind us one bit.”
We probs should have minded...at least a *little* bit…? Maybe instead of spending generations forgetting how we had suffered at the magic hands of the Wizard Kings? ‘Cause while we were keeping our mouths shut and our eyes closed, Blot’Tor was teachin’ his crappy Wizard King frenemies how to siphon up our planet’s arcane core, ferment it in toxic geo-thermal vats AND IMBUE IT WITH LIFE.
They were out there making all sorts of weird little dudes (they called ‘em Vat-Spawn - ‘cause they were cooked up in vats instead of...instead of bein’ born), havin’ fun, playin’ god with living creatures...Then they got a little bored. Then they started pickin’ fights. Then there was DRAMA. Then the very-public-breakup of the Wizard Kings, and after that? Bloodshed. None of us know who started it, none of us know how it’ll end, but what we DO know is…
The Wizard King Blot’Tor was the first of the Wizard Kings to reach into slag and rip consciousness to the surface. It was *his* abomination that started it all when they first staggered before their creator, fell to their knees, and broke into a thousand barbs…
Which Blot’Tor took up and stuck into the body of his *next* abomination...the one that put an end to it.
I’m not sure if anyone’s noticed, I’m not sure if anyone CARES, but there used to be two Vat Spawn up at the top of the Bongcano, slaughtering the endless waves of attackers coming at them from all directions, but suddenly there is only one. What happened to the other Vat Spawn?
Pit Pit once stood at the top of the Bongcano, blindly guarding whatever lay within by slaughtering endless waves of oncoming attackers. Then, in the comic anthology DAGGER DAGGER, they gained WIZARD VISION and made their way down into the Pit, witnessing all the beauty and horror of the Bongcano. Then they made their way up to the top of the Wizard King Blot’Tor’s tower. Then they killed him.
Now they don’t...they don’t know what they’re gonna do. What’s goin’ on?
DEATH TO THE WIZARD KINGS started its life in the comic anthology DAGGER DAGGER, which was kickstarted in 2020. It’s the comic I love working on the most, but the one I can’t ever seem to take the time I want for. People keep askin’ me “What Is Death To The Wizard Kings? What Is Death To The Wizard Kings?! What Is Death To The Wizard Kings?!!” And I keep sayin “DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!”
But that was BEFORE I was trying to convince people to donate money to me so I could take the time I WANTED to draw this thing that I really, really love, instead of not even getting to take the time I needed.
Unlike Pit Pit, I know what comes next and I desperately wanna draw it, and then I wanna share it. Throw some digital dollars in the donation pit if you wanna, save ‘em if you can’t. Either way, check this out, look, look, look, dude…
Supporters
Per month
I knew i was on the right track when three friends texted back screen caps of the wave panel. Love that wave. A+ wave.
I resued the church a lot. work smarter, not harder!
Oh my god FINALLY I can post this.
The whole...issue is completely penciled. You wanna see that? See some spoilers? See some process?
I went to a gong bath a year ago and the woman who ran it was all like "Today's the INFINITY VORTEX!" and NEVER explained beyond that. So i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing.
The waters freeze!
THE MOON RISES!
Wooooooooo AH!
Hooves pound! A pitch-black wagon races across the cobblestones! Disaster is afoot!
A dog growls in the distance!
The lights are extinguished!
The trees wither and die!
HARK!
The carriage approaches!
DRAMATIC STING.
Eerie echo.
FWOOSH.
FWOOSH.
FWOOSH.
FWOOSH.
Weeee oooooo oooo
eeeeeeeee
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Just gonna add another Nosferatu to my collection of Nosferatu charactacters.
I love, love, love, Nosferatu.
Sorry to drop a big heavy yet unpolished drawing on you after a few months. I've heard people love, raw, vulnerable artists these days though.
I promise I won't make this a regular thing. I really miss writing Death To the Wizard Kings, and I'm hoping that I can pull myself outta this funk before the end of the year, so I don't accidentally make a career out of writing navel-gazey mental illness comics.
I'm gonna be fine, I'm in therapy, but I've been stuck in this loop for years and some days it's really hard. I thought I was a therapy pro, but OCD doesn't fuck around.
03 - ACCENT-LESS PIT
This GORGEOUS 6ft Custom Vaporizer comes with all the bells ‘n whistles. Need a little info? They have it - they’re a KNOW IT ALL. They’ve been around, “seen” some shit, and won’t shut up about it. +2 to all intelligence and wisdom rolls, -3 to all charisma rolls (no one likes a know it all). Good thing they got that CALMING BREATH. Relaxes everyone in the area, smells like cedar, and affected creatures can’t take violent action until violence is done to them. They’re a bit of a S’LINGUIST - and their spit can turn any creature into a polyglot! Anyone who wants to take a shot of saliva’ll gain the ability to speak ANY language of their choosin’ - but they still can’t understand it. LOLOLOL. Don’t let ‘em sit on any fine furniture - they got OOZE YA LOOSE which means they can just ooze their way out of any grappling hold…but they leave behind a fluorescent (and slightly corrosive) residue on fabrics. WEIRD!
ACCENT-LESS PIT is LITERATE and COMPATIBLE with WIZARD-VISION. They gain the sight attributes of whoever’s eyes they take!
Death to the Wizard Kings!
02 - WAX PIT
This 8ft Organic One-Hitter has Precision Vision….sooooo automatic +4 to their DEX MOD. Which makes their AERIAL ROOTS all the more formidable. They can grow ‘em straight out their bod, crack ‘em off, and chuck ‘em at people for 1d4 piercing damage. Their resin contains UV rays, and even though they can control the brightness, they aren’t able to turn it off completely - givin’ them -2 to all stealth checks made in dark places. Be careful though…thanks to their SICK BURN they remember every insult or swear word that they’ve ever heard and think it’s REAL funny to just repeat ‘em whenever the mood strikes them. Whenever a creature within range hears them, they’ll have to succeed on a Wisdom Saving Throw or take 1D4 Fire Damage and deal with disadvantage on their next attack roll.
WAX PIT is LITERATE and COMPATIBLE with WIZ-VISION. They gain the sight attributes of whoever’s eyes they take!
Death to the Wizard Kings!
01 - MOUTH PIT
A 3ft tall Vaporizer One Hitter who has HAD it with your sounds. Yeah, they KNOW they got a tasty exterior! They’re covered in a delicious coating! Nah, I don’t know what they taste like, I’d never lick them without asking are you nuts? Why don’t you roll 1D6 and find out if they’re SALTY, SWEET, BITTER, UMAMI or CHOCOLATE? They may look like a snack, but I’d think twice before breakin’ a bit off this Pit. This itty bitty battie came straight from the MURDER BATCH. That’s right. They got a +2 to STR and CON PLUS they can waste 1D4 worth of HP to take half damage. Not to mention that STANK BREATH (think thicc, 15ft cone of poisonous puce fog belched at a target within range. It’s THICC like slurry soup and it gets. every. where. Round corners, into cracks, into your EYES . It reeks like a kombucha fart and LINGERS for 1D8 rounds. When someone enters the stank-zone, or for some reason decides to start their turn there, they're gonna have to make a constitution savin' throw. If they fail it, bam. 2D10 poison damage. If they succeed? 1D10's worth. Even if you bring ‘em down to 5 HP that SECOND WIND immediately gives them 1D20s worth of temporary hit points! YEAH! Right?
So you better knock it off with those mouth sounds before you piss them off.
MOUTH PIT is ILLITERATE and NOT COMPATIBLE with WIZ-VISION. Don’t worry - their echolocation is fantastic.
Death to the Wizard Kings!
well...kind of. I needed 24 pages to send it to print. Spot illustration to the rescue.
In a few weeks, I'm gonna start yellin' on my social media about crowdfunding a mystery comic...this is it.
Don't tell anyone.
Shhh.
This page was so hard to plan but so satisfying to finish.
Ok - so I hadn't PLANNED on posting all these finished pages tonight...but I'm about to drop some vat spawn on you and I'll go nuts if they're all mixed up with these pages.
There was all this discourse about repeating panels in the comics scene a few weeks back and it's all meaningless.
There it is, the Enger insane eyeball pop! Crazed! Beyond recall.
you don't look at those freaks and weirdos you look at meeeeeeeee
I...finally finished this. It's 22 pages long.
It's the only TRULY personal work I've done since 2019, and I declare my YIPS offically over now. That's how it works, right?
This comic also acted as a style revision/guide for DTTWK - so if you can't read shit, tell me now.
Thanks for supporting me. I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate you.
A bunch of folks have started reading Abarat, and it makes my heart warm.
For some reason this page took me three weeks to ink.
I bought so many copies of Abarat for folks last week, and a few more have told me they're on the hunt for a copy.
Makes my heart real warm, can't lie.
Tried to post this page yesterday but my home internet is trash.
I didn't write this - but I DID adapt it from Clive Barker's Abarat.
Which you should read 'cause it's great.
Folks.
I gotta re-draw the first issue I think. I'm halfway through writin' issue two, I'm wrting all these tables, it's all so boring and bad and not even in the "oh ho, i'm being a delightfully myserious artiste" way. It's a mess of word salad and drawings of Pit Pit drinking lava lamp fluid.
My hobby is my job and I love to draw comics at night when I'm chillin' on the couch. I also love Clive Barker, but grew up thinking he was a children's book author. Womp Womp.
Anyway. I use this Abarat fan-comic as a style/speed test for DTTWK. It's been really informative and also real fun, so I'm actually lookin' forward to those page re-draws.
I hope everything's goin ok.
LIGHTNING BOLT LIGHTNING BOLT LIGHTNING BOLT LIGHTNING BOLT!
Do you all have a library card? Can you get one? You'll want access to a printer...
Sometimes you find a sketch that just makes you happy.
LEVEL 2 - BIG BEAUTIFUL BOUNCER
They decide who's on the list!
This 8ft tall fluorescent coral and green Vaporizer/Bubbler has this like, crazy ass memory for swear words. You tell them an insult they think is funny and they NEVER forget. They have this like, huge mental library full of insults and truly - the sickest of burns...but I don't think they have a damn clue what any of it means.
Kinda sweet, actually.
PIT SPECS:
Each Vat Spawn comes with 4 awesome abilities, and Flesh Pit ain't any diff! Here's what they got goin' on:
If you print this out on an 8.5x11 piece of paper, and fold it up you got a one page zine!
It's Schnappviecher season! Clack Clack Clack Clack! Hope you're able to be a little kind to yourself in these upcoming weeks.
STINK PIT
LEVEL 1 - WEAPON HAVER
A 3ft tall blue and fluorescent pink Oozer Nugg, this Vat Spawn was rolled up by Acolyte Lvl 5 - IAN. They spend most of the time they are awake hangin out in cracks. Cracks in the cobblestones, cracks in the wall, cracks in the ceiling, cracks in the floor, cracks in the fabric of space and time... Seriously, don't spend too much time around them - they release a noxious vapor that'll make you THINK you're seein' the universe unravel like a crappy sweater, but actually, that vapor'll just make you vom for like... a while.
PIT SPECS:
Each Vat Spawn comes with 4 awesome abilities, and Pit ain't any diff! Here's what they got goin' on:
BYE BITCH.
No more deadlines 'till the end of the year = uninterrupted DTTWK focus. Feels good to wake up pumped and ready to create.
This isn't a DTTWK thing, it's its OWN thing. I just really wanted to share somethin' with ya.
Get it?! Cause it's a SCRIPT?!
I can't believe fiction writers can just like, ask the reader to imagine this shit in their mind!
Dec 1st and the big break begins. I've been pickin' at Death To The Wizard Kings so much slower than I'd like. BUT! Bonus - every second I spend on it I love.
Image above is from Boxer. I've been picking away at it for a while now. It's cathartic in a different way than DTTWK. Whenever I feel particularily overwhemeled by my addiction to/work, I pick at it. One of these days I'll find balance!
Last year, when DAGGER DAGGER was kickstarting, one of the reward tiers was some custom DTTWK art from me, and this was the week where I said "fuck you" to the unforgiving schedule and made time to work on something I love.
Name subject to change but, until then:
SCHEDULING PIT
LEVEL 1 - GARDEN GUARDIN'
A 7ft tall steel 'n lime slime Spoon Vaporizor, this Vat Spawn was rolled up by Acolyte Lvl 4 - RICO. They have been stationed at the Western Mush Gate specifically 'cause they just have that little SOMETHIN' that mellows the Mushroom Tenders. PLUS they can stretch their limbs into all the hard-to-reach spaces and clear them spooky spiders out.
PIT SPECS:
Each Vat Spawn comes with 4 awesome abilities, and Scheduling Pit ain't any diff! Here's what they got goin' on:
Usually hate letting folks take a peek behind the sketchbook curtain, but NOT YOU.
I'm real sorry there's not been too much new stuff. Like I said - the UNFORGIVING SCHEDULE.
My schedule has been really unforgiving lately.
Thanks for helping me make time to work on DTTWK. I PROMISE these scribbles will make sense really soon.
Attack Type: Pit Melee.
Reach: 7ft.
Range:
Damage: 1D8
Damage Type: Slashing
Weight: 5lbs
Cost: 2 unique surfaces.
Look: this sword looks AWESOME and even though you may THINK it’s black and white, it is in fact, the stunning colors of the Bisexual pride flag. Woo hoo! Yes!
Feel free to take up this sword against whatever enemies you face in whatever system you're playin' in. DTTWK.
Attack Type: Ranged/Single Use
Reach: 71 cm
Range: 30 ft
Damage: 33D4 divided equally amongst ALL opponents. Even the INVISIBLE or UNDEAD.
Damage Type: Piercing
Weight: 35 grams
Cost: One. Human. Life.
Look: if you whip it around and around and around and around and then you just like - BAM! Chuck it at whatever, it’ll just SLAM! Become a bunch ‘o little BONESP'LOSIONS!
Feel free to take up this sword against whatever enemies you face in whatever system you're playin' in. DTTWK.
Attack Type: Floppy
Reach: I refuse to touch it.
Range: I won’t!
Damage: 1D12 and now your opponent is covered in slime, please can I leave?
Damage Type: Psychic.
Weight: WHO KNOWS! NOT ME! I WON’T TOUCH IT.
Cost: Whatever you want, just get RID OF IT.
Look: if you bring up this thing again, I’m leaving. I swear, I’ll do it. I’ll just GO.
Feel free to take up this sword against whatever enemies you face in whatever system you're playin' in. DTTWK, and all but like...for real? This is DISGUSTING. STRAIGHT. UP. NAST.
Attack Type: Lemon sneaky.
Reach: 6 inches + lemon size less one inch ‘cause like, you gotta make sure that lemon stays on.
Range: Depends on the size of the lemon
Damage: 1d4 for the poker, 1d6 for the LEMON TWIST.
Damage Type: DIRTY, with a twist of… lemon.
Weight: 6oz+weight of the lemon
Cost: ONE simple table knife, at least ONE theieved lemon, and your humanity (if you’re human).
Look: what were you supposed to do? NOT take this here big ‘ol lemon and shove it onto THIS HERE LITTLE ‘OL STAB! STAB! STAB! SQUEEZE! SQUEEZE! SQUEEZE!
Attack Type: Melee
Reach: 10ft.
Range: 20 ft
Damage: 1d10 and now everyone’s gotta make a constitution save against the smell. You know the one...
Damage Type: Slashing and composting
Weight: round 5-10 lbs...depending on the...freshness.
Cost: Free! ‘cause...
Look: It’s made out of 100% recycled materials!
Feel free to take up this sword against whatever enemies you face in whatever system you're playin' in. DTTWK.
Attack Type: Pit Melee
Reach: 2ft.
Range: 10/20/30/40ft depending on cooking proficiency.
Damage: 1d6+ 1. Now your opponent smells like, good enough to eat almost? So all future attacks against THAT opponent now get +2 on the attack roll AND damage roll. Y U M.
Damage Type: PIERCING if you only use it once, chopping if you mean business.
Weight: 2lb.
Cost: This here is a TOOL OF THE TRADE. You can’t simply BUY a Mess ‘O Luna, you EARN it by making a mess out of some Wizard King in a kitchen somewhere.
Look: You’re gonna be better with tools you KNOW vs. tools you don’t! Sure, in the past something like this would be used to chop herbs up for some Wizard King’s dinner (or mind woaaaaah), but YOU have made this little doohickey your own by making just...a giant Mess ‘o Luna. Good for you. Death to the Wizard Kings!
Feel free to take up this sword against whatever enemies you face in whatever system you're playin' in. DTTWK.
Attack Type: Pit Melee
Reach: 5ft.
Damage: 1d8 + 2 for every unsettled beef you’re willin’ to air out in front of the party. Go on, make it juicy.
Damage Type: Crushing, but also, like...bludgeoning.
Weight: 4.20 lb. Premium GRADE
Cost: Nothin’ - except everyone now thinks you’re a petty gossip and knows you got UNSETTLED BEEF.
Look: You have got some UNSETTLED BEEF that CANNOT be squashed by words alone anymore. But like, everyone DESPERATELY wants to know about it, and they’re willing to look past the fact that you’re for real squashing your beefs, like literally, in a violent sort of way, to learn about ALL! THOSE! JUICY! DEETS! Oh my gooood...
Feel free to take up this sword against whatever enemies you face in whatever system you're playin' in. DTTWK.
OH MAN.
So, this isn’t a cheap knock-off - you can TOTALLY tell ‘cause this WIZARD AMULET has little brackets in it and it ain’t made out of acrylic. No idea what color the eyeball is ‘cause this illustration is in black and white.
If you pop this WIZARD AMULET on, you’ll be able to see invisible creatures, objects, ghosts AND the color out of space. But only through this wizard amulet. Your regular eyes still see all the same shit they’ve been seein’.
But it ain’t a Wizard King’s. BUMMER!
Though Death To The Wizard Kings chronicles the trials and tribulations of the Pit Uprising through comics, supplemental TTRPG material, and illustrations, sometimes it will also feature quick depictions from Orm, the Complex, the Container, and several other in-game locations. This here? This is the complex. And Hate Pit, PakPak (dog-style kobold), Crannoc (the human) and Abraxis (the mutant in that cool armor waaay in the back) found a random severed head behind the door.
Orm is the current location of HATE PIT and GLOW PIT. It is a collaborative game run by the talented artist, author, game creator and game master Nick Kuntz. In 2020 it offered a reprieve and community, just like it does today. There wouldn’t be a Death To the Wizard Kings without Nick’s worldbuilding, on and offline.
There’s some amazing work on the blog that Nick painstakingly runs for the game, as well as an Underworld Adventure comic that is absolutely fantastic. Nick + Underworld Adventure have been a huge inspiration to me. I hope they can be to you as well.
(thanks Nick <3)
Oh hey, it's a 3ft oozer battie. One day I'll show you how to make one of these little dudes. Promise.
Proto-Pit-Pit!
This was the first ever drawing I did of Pit Pit, the first Vat Spawn to graft a wizard’s eye to their body, witness the horrors of what the Wizard Kings wrought, and say “NOPE.” and then they said
DEATH TO THE WIZARD KINGS.
Ok, so...this guy right here? This is Blot’Tor.
He was the first Wizard King to bring “life” to the Vat Spawn.
Then Pit Pit killed him.
OOPS. Sorry, not sorry!
Death To the Wizard Kings!