Posted by Prairie on Nov 12, 2024
From Allison (Chibi-Usa), A Bride
Where Part One of this series was written by my person of honour, Part Two has been written by numerous members of the bridal party. This is in part because I was very curious to how they would answer, and in part so I could show off the amazing pictures of our wedding.
For those of you who don’t know, before my career as a game designer I actually had a professional career as an event manager (with a degree and everything). This wedding was my chance. I finally got too dust off some skills that I had been keeping in the closet. Because it had been so long since I got to organize a major event I *may* have gone a little overboard (did we have a wedding spreadsheet with 27 tabs? Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll never tell).
I really wanted to know what it was like on the other end of all this organizing, from the perspective of those who kept receiving messages and updates and requests. So I asked: “In 100 words (or less), what was it like being in the bridal party of a wedding organized by a game designer?”. It turns out that 100 words was not enough for some of our bridal party members to express their exact feelings, but every word opened up my eyes to the world of weddings as games.
My Wife let me have a “subtle” sailor moon theme and I think our bridal party absolutely KILLED IT with their fashion and outfits.
From Dora (Helios), The Other Bride
I would highly recommend marrying a game designer, if you have the opportunity! They're fun, creative, and they're adept at thinking through what an experience will be like. Mine is also very driven and detail-oriented, and did so much of the heavy-lifting of wedding planning.
Of course, she's also very ambitious and passionate, which are good qualities, but which did introduce some challenges to wedding-planning. Allison wanted the theme and look of our wedding to be distinctive and memorable, and early on in the planning process we had to work through some conflicts about how distinctive it would be. We decided on a "subtle Sailor Moon" theme, which was a compromise between what I wanted (traditional aesthetics, specifically not pop culture themed) and what Allison wanted (everyone's outfit inspired by a different pokemon). One specific boundary I set was, "no one looks like they're in a costume." And literally the next day, Allison started telling me excitedly about a technique she'd found to craft chainmail capes, and I had to summon my patience and say, "I think we need to talk about how we define the word 'costume.'"
Allison populated our wedding with activities, for our bridal parties, for us, and for our guests. Sometimes, I thought she was overdoing it, and we needed to leave more open time. I like to think that I introduced a little restraint was helpful, but I have to say, Allison's vision for the wedding day - or really, the wedding weekend - turned out really, really incredibly. She deserves more credit than I feel like I can give her for that, and her game design background is a big part of that. All weekend leading up to the wedding, our wedding party was busy adding little touches to make the day itself even better, like designing a custom bouquet.
Our guests, likewise, had their experience curated: they arrived in their cabins to personalized itineraries, some of them with fun extra elements to add an air of mystery, like a dance card.
Honestly, I think there's not zero relationship between arriving at our wedding venue and showing up at a well-run larp, and getting a sense of all the cool ways your weekend is going to unfold.
From Chris (Sailor Moon), Grill Master
Being in the bridal party of a game designer felt like I was able to contribute a part of myself in making the wedding day (and weekend!) so special! I got to help with making centerpieces and arranging sound, and I really enjoyed grilling food for hungry souls while they brought the beautiful day to life. Eevrything felt like a collaboration, almost like a theater production. I got to appreciate what others brought, and bring my own gifts. I was able to share my joy, and to see everyone else share theirs, with Allison and Dora in their new start
From Squinky (Sailor Venus), DJ
It was like participating in an elaborate several-days-long escape room, or a scavenger hunt in the vein of GISHWHES (RIP). I ended up untangling a lot of string lights, which is actually way more fun than it sounds. I was also very appreciative of all the spreadsheets that let me know ahead of time where I needed to be and when; as we all know, game designers are very good at spreadsheets. Afterwards, I got to go home with more clear umbrellas and orange plates than I ever thought I would need in my life.
From Jess (Sailor Jupiter), Person of Honor
All weddings are essentially full of fetch quests for the Wedding party. (I'm maybe only half-joking?) But, crossing a bridge across a gorgeous dam on a river in the middle of the woods to bring the Brides their bouquets will definitely be one fetch-quest I remember. Also, like all good fighting games, the Allison vs. Dora title match had a lot of good costume changes!
From Brandy (Tuxedo Mask), Design Lord
When you find yourself in the bridal party of a game designer, you find yourself in a capital P-Party. (Or: Allison I’ve failed you. I ain’t getting this cut down.)
The most succinct way I can describe my role in "Bridal Party of Allison Cole" is to imagine it as a pseudo Party/quest assembly. (Am I influenced by my recent obsessive watching & rewatching of Agatha All Along? Maaaaaaaaaybe.) Without the time to download all the lore that is Allison & Brandy, it was no surprise to me that my best friend of 23…(?) years would put so much care and kindness into the curation of her wedding party as the wedding itself — to the point which Allison's Party needed to remind her, she was, in fact, the bride, and did not need to put quite so much emphasis on the absolute comfort and ease of all others.
That said Allison did make us play on hard mode. She chose a...
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Remote location with neither power access, nor internet, nor cell reception. Great for "at the wedding" feel, poor planning and coordination.
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Potential for an outdoor ceremony and reception for ~60 guests on relatively short notice
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Inability to communicate with each other while in a different location / cabin site.
Still, while the Party wasn't new to one another, we bonded over spreadsheets and quadruple contingency planning in the face of unpredictable weather beyond existing (extensive) contingencies. Party members were, dare I say, selected both by the eternal love of the bride and for our complimentary skill sets. At the core of our preparation for the Day-Of—everything from centrepieces to setup, errands and errors—party members handled all things with an almost eerie humm.
It went: Does this work? Yes. Is this okay? Hmm, not quite. Can you do this? No. How can I help? What do you need? Is this fun? Yes. Is this mildly silly and sassy? 100%. Is this functional? Yes. No one was stretched too far beyond their comforts. Boundaries were respected, not teased. Teasing was respected and not cruel. There was a true vibe. Something in the vein of chaotic harmony that probably may only be conjured by a band of neuroqueers with decades of masking and anxiety between them.
Back to Allison:
It was a joy to spend my wedding with these kind and generous people. Games have always been one of my love languages: playing them, designing them, talking about them. I’ve been lucky to surround myself with wonderfully playful people willing to indulge me. The wedding was just another in a long line of reminders that everything can be a game, and that having the right people to play with is what life is all about.