Posted by MK Fell on Feb 14, 2022
ah shit it's february huh. i did also type "january" when i started writing this post so you know, that's how that's going.
you know how people talk about how the liminal time between christmas and new year doesn't exist? yeah, that really happened to me, coupled with a huge work surge and a death in my family that i didn't get a chance to properly grieve and i lost quite a bit of january. but hi! hello! i am here. wow i just reread my last hello post and quite a lot of things i spoke about did not actually happen, although the referenced session of dumb kids did finish releasing this week and our listeners cried so there we go. mission accomplished.
i have been toying, on and off, with the text of a game i am calling THIS IS A GAME ABOUT WRESTLING. it is a game about wrestling. "no shit, mk" okay it's also a game about homoerotic violence, storytelling, character bleed, and the sexual tension between wrestlers when they really want to beat the shit out of each other. you know how many times i've seen wrestlers do the forehead touch and yelled NOW KISS at my screen? this is for that. i am actually SO excited about this game that i have DONE MY OWN COVER ART FOR IT, very much in the style of my good friend caro asercion, whose vector work has been a huge inspiration for me trying to do some vectors of my very own. here's the WIP of the cover image-- not sold on the background yet, so this is of course subject to change.
this game is also a hack of their game dwindle, but designed for two players fighting for control of one grid. does it work? i have no idea. i'll playtest it and get back to you.
i've realized in the last few months that i can just like... write bad things. this might seem obvious to some of you, but i've always been a bit of a raging perfectionist, especially about this one singular skill i have. however i have spent the last twelve years of my life writing-- twelve! i started really, truly, properly writing in the eighth grade, age thirteen, and i still haven't learned how to do efficient dungeon crawls without the floor collapsing under the heroes every five seconds. even something i wrote in like an hour in a fever dream and slapped onto the internet for two people that i think is kind of bad is going to have people being like "damn mk this is really good" (and yes, i can look back on it and be like "hey this is ok actually" it's just like an in the moment thing.)
so while i have been suffering HARD from creative burnout and low motivation, i have just like... been letting myself just kind of chill? and write things knowing "hey this might be bad and that's ok because if you reread it and don't like it you can just rewrite it." which is like a HUGE step for me and has been really beneficial in my recovering from burnout. i don't feel like i have to be writing all the time. and when i do write, if i don't like it, i can put it down, come back to it later, and try again. it's doing wonders. i feel like i'm actually making progress.
this doesn't mean i'm ready to start doing things again! i want to let this run its course so i don't repeat this cycle in another three months. but it does make it easier to imagine a light at the end of the tunnel, and i can say with definite certainty that my emotional state right now is in no way linked to current creative endeavors.
apart from memoria stuff, but that's a kickstarter update, not a comradery one.
anyway that's all for now! i will HOPEFULLY have more game text next time i post, but until then i urge you all to go listen to follow the leader and to check the standing stones twitch page at the end of february to catch our stream for blount pride-- i will not be there, but the games being played are going to be fun anyway! i hope everyone had a lovely and safe holiday, and please get boosted if you haven't already!