Posted by 水仙 on Jun 22, 2023

this is a free public post. i am a formerly homeless physically & mentally Disabled survivor of extreme violence. please consider supporting me, to help en-able me to continue to fight for justice. it means a lot to me, thank you so much! 💙 [blue heart]





the title of this post is a joke

part of this post is a vaguepost/critique of real human beings, not sorry


CONTENT — thoughts on ADHD, autism, ableism, saneism, Madness / neuro-difference. mentions of trauma (please just get used to it).

*** these are my thoughts & ideas. i might not be "right" about them. i don't even think that being "right" is the point, anyway. ***

edited to add i forgot to specify this originally, but i both have adhd [ idk, i personally don't use "adhd" as an adjective for myself ] + i'm autistic [ & i'm also clinically insane ]. 🤷‍♂️ [short-haired human shrugging emoji]







CORRECTION on previous posts:

People with ADHD are at high risk for catching & getting complications from COVID-19, but they are not immunocompromised.

@littlepileofteeth , one of my followers on social media, graciously educated me & others about my statement that "people with adhd are immunocompromised". this was based on my misunderstanding of this page, by The usameriKKKan CDC, "People with Certain Medical Conditions | CDC"

"A person with any of the medical conditions listed below is more likely to get very sick with COVID-19. If you have one of these conditions, talk with your healthcare provider about how best to protect yourself from severe illness from COVID-19."

@littlepileofteeth said:

"I want to say very respectfully that there’s a difference between being immunecompromised and being high-risk for covid-19.

You do wonderful work that I am very much appreciative and as an ADHDer I think this thread is great, but I do feel that this is an important distinction.

Being immune-compromised indicates that you either have a condition or are taking medication that significantly effects your immune system in a manner that weakens your ability to fight infection— the key point here is that the immune system is directly causative.

Studies have shown that there are other health conditions that can increase an individual’s risk when it comes to covid— such as many other medical conditions including various mental health experiences.

The difference is that those conditions do not cause a discernible fluctuation in the immune system in a way that causes immunodeficiency.

Why do I think this is a necessary language distinction?

I think these classifications/conditions exist at a different places on an un-hierarchal axis and it’s just important to acknowledge that.

I think it’s helpful that we have language for this so that we can platform or focus on certain experiences when we want to do so.

I also believe that “speaking from the experience of ____” is a meaningful phrase and we should be as accurate as possible.

Similarly I think it’s good to be as clinically precise as possible just bc being told you’re immunecompromised can be a bit worrying/disorienting for some.

Being immunecompromised also impacts many areas of life beyond covid-risk w/ other viral/infectious/+ avoidance protocols and lived experiences so I think that word is also important for community.

Similar to how my form of immunodeficiency causes me to get reoccurring pneumonia as well as sepsis, but I don’t have risks/experiences of people with other syndromes so I won’t speak on that even though we have many of the same difficulties.

I just wanted to say something as this language specification has come up as feeling important to many folks in my immunodeficiency support groups.

I definitely welcome any other perspectives/thoughts/opinions/knowledge from anyone!

Thank you for reading— I know this is quite long, but I wanted to be precise with my words."

thank you so much for the free education, @littlepileofteeth !!









i've been holding onto all of these notes/thoughts for a while:




2023 april 6

"ADHD is my superpower" ; "autism is my superpower" ; desireability in disorders

— i am not 100% for the social model of disability

would people look kindly upon an openly "suicidal founder", "depressed founder", "anxious founder"?

"narcissistic founder"? "sociopathic founder"? "attention-seeking/histrionic founder"?


why not?

ADHD as marketable → more palatable for capitalism now, co-opted — a "better" worker, where "better" always means "more exploitable"

— this is a white woman, obviously




2023 may 17

ADHD is a disability in an ableist capitalist system.

Capitalism, + capitalist companies / corporations have conned you into believing that it's a superpower.




2023 april 16, unfinished draft     [circling back...]

*note: terms like "histrionic", "narcissist", + "sociopath" are all saneist. i'll explain later, if you don't understand now. what saneists call "narcissistic abuse" is actually just emotional abuse. we don't say "adhd abuse" when somebody with adhd abuses someone, for instance.

i saw this instagram "influencer" the other day, + it made me angry.

my white gen z Mad / Neuro-Atypical / Disabled comrade, "A", is the one who made me realize, months ago when we first met, that ADHD was quickly co-opted by capitalism as a "good" thing. autism, as well.

never mind that it's a disability {they both are!}, + capitalism can't let you realize that it's a disability {where here*, "disability" means not able to function to [ ableist <=> ]capitalistic standards}, bc otherwise, capitalism can't exploit you. otherwise, you would become radicalized/politicized, + fight back against your own oppression.

realizing that you are Disabled can radicalize + politicize you, which can inspire you to fight back against your own oppression. this is why capitalism co-opts disabilities as superpowers, & currently, ADHD is very popular for capitalist co-optation, bc a lot of "smart" & successful people have it / are now diagnosed with it. late-diagnosed autism & lower support needs autism is experiencing similar capitalist co-optation right now.

[ "smart" is in quotes bc "smartness" is measured by white supremacist ableist capitalist standards in usameriKKKa ]

[ both "functioning" & "support needs" labels are controversial within the autistic community, but part of their controversy is usually caused by lower support needs and/or late-diagnosed autistic people, i.e. people with more privilege! ]

*another thing i've wanted to talk about is the social model of disability. i haven't read any papers on it bc i can't read books or longform right now, + i haven't been able to since early 2012.

the social model of disability does apply to a lot of things, but controversial take, it's kind of toxic positivity in disability justice, after a certain point. it doesn't accommodate Madness { i.e. "mental illness" }. [ THIS IS NOT A FULLY FLESHED OUT THOUGHT YET OKAY? don't come for me! (yet, lol) ]

even in a perfectly "accessible" world, i would still be traumatized. i would still be in pain every day, even if i'd *had* the "right" care — even if the "right" care existed [which, in this present world? it just fucking doesn't. not from the government, not from nonprofits, & not even from "grassroots" orgs, or individual caring human beings.]

perhaps we can say that in a "perfect" world, nobody would have abused me in the first place. yes, well. that is the world that i'm trying to build.

but in a "perfect" world, trauma would still exist. death, natural disasters [which would happen even in a world that's not burning bc of capitalism], miscarriages, sickness, heartbreak.





2023 may 16, DMs to fellow psycho friends. spitballing. THEY'RE JUST THOUGHTS OK like the entire point is we are all growing & these are ideas & thoughts & opinions that are changing & can always change. !!!

adhd just sounds like it's only seen as a "disorder" under capitalism

it's just... different... variations of humanity...

what is considered "age-appropriate" behaviour?

why is impulsivity not "age-appropriate"?

only bc it makes you a "worse" [& less naturally obedient] worker to a capitalist boss?????

bc i may be insane, but at least i don't abuse anyone?

and here are so-called non-insane people who abuse people so who cares how much money they make or how non-insane they are? lol

they aren't better than me, in ANY way, just bc they're more abled or more non-insane or have more money. (!!!)




eternal thought —

a lot of people with adhd, newly diagnosed autistic people, etc. don't want to admit that they're disabled bc of internalized ableism. hence the "it's a superpower" thing.

saying it's a superpower is ableist + capitalist

AND it can make people who have more severe "symptoms" feel bad about themselves.

a lot of people with adhd, autistic people, etc. don't like being told that what is seen as "mental illness" is also part of neurodivergence & neurodiversity

"mental illness" is so stigmatized even though it's clear... adhd, autism affects people MENTALLY

nobody wants to be lumped in with "mentally ill people"

people who are considered diagnosed [so-called] "narcissists" & "sociopaths" are under the neurodivergence + neurodiversity umbrellas bc so-called "personality disorders" => neurologically different brains

btw i'm of the "New" School of Thought that "Cluster B personality disorders" [borderline, narcissistic, anti-social ["sociopathic"], histrionic] are all just complex trauma / childhood trauma. and they are

(DID I SAY IT'S EVER OKAY TO MISTREAT OTHER PEOPLE? no? yes, exactly. sit back down, having intense emotions or being suicidal doesn't make anybody abusive)

[and tbh, ALL "mental diagnoses" / DSM "mental disorders" are just... trauma, imo]




what is considered "properly" socialized? and how is somebody who is neglected, berated, etc. abused every day supposed to learn how to act "pro-socially"?


what is socialization?


what is considered "pro-social" & "anti-social" behaviour, in a cruel society? what is considered "acceptable" & "unacceptable"?

palatable? desireable? undesireable?

what is "normal"?

who gets to decide?


how "abled" are you, really?




this is a free public post. i am a formerly homeless physically & mentally Disabled survivor of extreme violence. please consider supporting me, to help en-able me to continue to fight for justice. it means a lot to me, thank you so much! 💙 [blue heart]


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