so i've written a lot over the years, that i don't remember.

& the other day, i was looking through my 2017 folder. bc almost everything in that folder, i don't remember writing.

& i found the text of my okc*pid profile from december 4th, 2017 apparently lmao.

& i was like, ha ha ha. this would be funny to publish.

& today, on the way home, i felt like publishing it.

so i just searched my files again, for "okc*pid".

& then i found this lmao.

& i don't remember writing this at all, but now i think i fuzzily remember who this was about.

he was pretty boring.

most more-privileged* people are, to me.

anyway, this poem i wrote in 2016, turned out to be about misogyny & saneism.

on accident. **

content below: misogyny, saneism, p*lice v**lence

hm. tbh, misogyny & saneism are deeply related. & you can experience misogyny, even if you're not a woman!

[ years ago, some trans/queer people pivoted to calling this oppression "femmephobia" [ terms that end with "-phobia" are ableist, btw, but i will explain some other time, sigh — maybe you can think about why it might be, yourself, first? ] — but there are some issues with that. first of all, misogyny & femmephobia basically mean the same thing: hatred of women / the feminine. ]

yeah, i need to write about that. about misogyny & saneism being deeply related.

western psychiatry/psychology is settler-colonial & white supremacist, & a lot of its function is to literally institutionally gaslight people who are oppressed. if you slap a "disorder" label on them, you can do basically anything you want with them: drug them, imprison them, strip away their rights.

and, you know, now you can also justify killing them — especially if you're a cop!

[ now do you see why saneism + western psychiatry / psychology is so harmful? ]

so, misogynistic men tend to use saneist tropes & language to put down women.
even if they're in a supposedly consensual, so-called "loving" relationship.
even if they purport to "like" them.

& they also tend to use saneism to gaslight women when women speak up about any mistreatment.

misogynistic men use saneism to gaslight the women they abuse.

& they also use saneism to destroy their victims' credibility, if the women speak up about it — "she's crazy."

the worst part is, being abused does often [usually? always?] make you "mentally ill" / Mad.

it does often [usually? always?] make you toe out of the social order: express more emotions, need more help & support [especially emotional] & love, etc. — which all makes you seen as "crazy", " "mentally ill" / neurodivergent / neuro-different ", etc. —

for one thing,

naming & calling out abuse & oppression is already toeing out of the social order,

if the social order is dependent on abuse & oppression.

** okay, did you know that this shit literally just comes out of my brain on the fly? like, i didn't plan this post like this, & it actually makes me nervous bc it makes me worry that i'm leaving any potential angles of this analysis out. but like, hopefully, my work is building upon itself, you know? & then y'all can understand all the thoughts in my mind, about oppression & abuse & stuff.

it's an entire lifetime of me basically observing people oppressing each other.
&, you know, tbh — especially, oppressing me.

it's also stuff i have been wanting to write about for years, bc saneism is killing people.

okay, you know what? i made this post too political lmao.

i think i need to separate the poem into the next post lol

* privilege is becoming a super limited framework, especially as more people try to learn about white supremacy & racism / anti-racism, & a lot of people are now misusing these words, & diluting the meanings.

is it white privilege, or is it anti-Blackness, for instance? it's kind of complicated to unpack, but speaking of unpacking, i still think that White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack is a pretty useful introductory essay to understand how "privilege" works in general.

actually, please don't quote me on that right now, since i haven't read it since 2010. [ i'll update this post after i've re-read it, but that probably won't be that soon. ] but it was pretty helpful for me back then.