Posted by grillcover on May 21, 2022
Originally published: 01/05/2022
Reflections: (February 2021)
It's impossible to overstate the impact that January had on me, and I went into February still fixated on the Capitol Riot, while most everyone seemed desperate to return to "normal." Vaccines were on the horizon, Biden was taking charge, spring was soon enough-- even the radical "left" was enjoying familiar in-fighting over how seriously to take it. It was difficult to endure. I still wasn't sure if I was safe talking about my trip, for fear of getting scooped up in some investigation, or getting made into a "left-wing provocateur" like the unhinged right-wing were already trying to do. There were reports of local passersby getting FBI visits; of course I was worried. I knew exactly how on-the-grid I was that day.
I'd usually found catharsis in some political commentators and podcasters, and I've never had much of a taste for shit-stirrers so my media diet wasn't even especially "edgy." But when I saw some people minimize the riot, or revise and ignore its antecedents, I felt physical revulsion and just had to unfollow and move on completely. For once I was firmly with the liberal establishment; despite our disagreements, it was far better than fascism. And the impeachment was important. I'm not at all sorry for my earnestness in this stuff.
It all became abundantly clear: the irony poisoning, the doomers, the alienation, detachment, abhorrence of so-called "cringe," the quibbling over definitions, whatever it is, all of it is grappling with a learned helplessness, as bad as any liberal wishy-washiness, so warped in the funhouse mirrors of metamodern meaning-making that people who genuinely know better, who have the tools to critique, self-critique, analyze, and synthesize their way out of this rut often simply will not. I suspect the solution to this paralysis is catalysis, and the catalyst is hype, and hope. Both are disciplines.
And that totally cringe, unbearably earnest hype was what I directed all my swirling, anxious, traumatized urgency toward throughout February. Finding my footing again with money-making work was a challenge, as I simply couldn't focus whatsoever until after the week of the impeachment February 9th-13th. I sat through as much of it as I could, and felt totally validated watching the footage as they built the same case I'd followed leading up to the day and then saw with my own eyes. It was definitely not good for my sleep or general health, and despite how deeply unsatisfactory the outcome was, I could finally focus on work again.
The next week I did something absolutely unprecedented in recent memory: I got five full nights of sleep, of at least eight hours a night, in a row. After the second day I felt like I could leap tall buildings. The returns after that were marginal, and while I knew my body was healing I felt like I was "losing" time and I couldn't get that consistently. Still, I was able to recalibrate and began to find a rhythm again with work and volunteering.
So the nights and weekends became about learning to organize. Reading, watching, listening, observing whatever I could from a variety of unwitting mentors, on and offline, applying it all on as many volunteer shifts as I could, keeping up with daily journaling and gratitude as much as possible to keep myself from imploding. From here, it's probably better to cover each of these things separately.
Tax The Rich:
It's fair to say that I went pretty hard with this campaign in February. Whether it was the political action of door-hanging and canvassing, the structured socializing and human contact, or just fresh air and exercise, I think the regular weekend outings really sustained me as I tried to even keel after January. But as the weeks went on, I found myself swept up in the capacity-building needs of the campaign.
I took shifts on seven out of eight weekend days, the first on February 6th as just a rank-and-file volunteer. I later found out that shift was organized in conjunction with the progressive wing of the UFT known as MORE (Movement of Rank and File Teachers) who I'd protested with in the fall. What made this turf especially satisfying was placing a doorhanger, bearing all the Tax The Rich info next to my assembly member's face, on her own front door. I passed by their door late and noticed it gone-- as well as all of her neighbors' doorhangers. The tension in the air was pretty thick.
The first shift I led was the next day, the morning of February 7th, and it was kinda special. The prior week we'd seen the Buffalo DSA chapter turn out hard in a snowstorm, so I was determined to make it through our shift no matter what the forecast said. Sure enough, the snow began to fall as the fairly large group of us gathered. But after a little bit of hype and cheer we had a pretty great shift and produced some great propaganda. Apparently the later shift almost cancelled, but we went so hard they had to follow through.
Below: Our morning canvassing shift getting ready to set off in the snowstorm. Other NYC-DSA campaigns (Brandon West for Council, Medicare For All) are represented as well. I'm up top holding the doorhangers aloft.
February 13th was a rough one. I was heading to a far-flung neighborhood to lead a shift, and had planned to drive. I found the car sealed behind two solid feet of ice on the busy Brooklyn avenue I'd foolishly left it for two snowfalls. By chance a neighbor came outside with a literal pitchfork, wasn't in a rush, and let me use it. I'm sure I looked like a madman attacking that wall of ice but I managed to free the car with time enough to still finish a turf myself. The next day, the shift I co-led February 14th in collaboration with the Brandon West campaign was a bit tricky with all the accumulated snow, but smooth overall.
Below: Here we see a "Bespectacled Snowcialist" (myopia socialisnix) who, despite useful adaptations such as 'grit' and 'camaraderie,' is still at a distinct disadvantage to his clear-eyed compatriots
The next week on February 21st I ventured up to Elmhurst, Queens to help lead a shift because it seemed like they needed backup. My turf had several large buildings, which in Brooklyn had been relatively easy. But here I was faced with a series of doormen, ranging from the uniformed and dismissive to a friendly immigrant who, while he couldn't let me in the building for fear of losing his job, tried to help me parlay with management and ended up bringing a stack of doorhangers in and promising to spread the word himself. Taxing the rich could help us all, especially with things like the Excluded Workers Fund, a key thing these bills could fund.
Turned away from every building on my turf, I had a bunch of extra time. I'd also been tasked with canvassing local businesses to see if we could put up some nice Tax The Rich posters to saturate targeted lawmakers' districts. I walked up to the neighborhood of Corona, and despite the occasional language barriers I managed to hang all the posters. I even dusted off my rusty Mandarin skills to explain the campaign to a pair of Chinese shop keepers.
Below: A selection of the posters I put up, with support of the businesses, in Corona, Queens, mobilizing people to contact their legislators to support the package of Invest in Our NY bills, generating up to $50 billion in yearly revenue.
The final weekend in February I leveled up again to dabble as Field Coordinator for a special canvass in collaboration with the Ecosocialist Working Group. One really smart aspect of the Tax The Rich field campaign was how it mobilized other formations within NYC-DSA to join forces. There's a tendency in an org this big to fall into siloed efforts, even when then there's a lot of issue overlap and volunteer potential. So leading up to February 27th I served as the bridge between some amazing Ecosoc leaders and the TTR campaign to pull off the biggest single TTR canvass yet, targeting my own State Senator and the Chairman of the Committee on Energy, Kevin Parker.
Above: We managed to capture 20 volunteers in the group photo outside the Prospect Park subway station, but definitely turned out more for our massive Tax The Rich x Green New Deal for NY push on Sen. Kevin Parker.
The last shift I led on February 28th was a relatively lowkey shift out in Bensonhurst. It was a slightly drizzly day in a far-out neighborhood but we managed to complete most of our turfs and train up a few new volunteers. My co-lead had been an afternoon lead during the snowstorm a few weeks earlier and had some... feedback for me. Sorry not sorry!
Looking back from afar, knowing what would come of this budget fight, I'm very proud of my efforts and grateful for the opportunity to so positively channel my energy this month.
2021 Democratic Primaries:
On February 10th I took to Facebook to wade into other waters and composed a thorough endorsement for Dianne Morales for mayor. It's interesting looking back, as so much has changed, but I'll try to honor the narrative as it unfolded. As a friend said, I was making thoughtful, deliberate choices at the time, and was always making the effort to learn more. It's not that I didn't see the red flags so many smugly claim they saw-- it's that given what I'd experienced the month prior I was ready to take that chance for the kind of platform she was putting forward. I still think that kind of ambition is our only hope.
But for the candidates I was really sure about, the one weekend day I took off from Tax The Rich was February 20th, to get more plugged into the two nearest City Council campaigns that were part of the official NYC-DSA slate. Building off the success of both Chicago DSA's entry into local government, as well as the 2020 New York statewide DSA For the Many slate, the Electoral Working Group selected six candidates for endorsement in Brooklyn, Queens, and the Bronx to put the org's effort behind.
Unlike many non-party orgs that provide mostly "paper" endorsements (i.e., permission to use their logo) the strategy for DSA is to throw as much volunteer support as possible to ensure the endorsements win. It means there's accountability for those candidates, and DSA can use the capacity it builds through the campaigns to reinforce other aspects of the work. (At least in theory.) And then, like with Tax The Rich, work inside and outside in closer collaboration.
I started the day at a Mike Hollingsworth canvass at Grand Army Plaza, just outside the Farmer's Market. It was cold, but great chatting with folks. And whichever way people had entered the park or market, I had a candidate to pitch for both districts east and west. That afternoon I went to hang posters for Brandon West over in District 39-- to the west. Speaking to shopkeepers was easier than I thought it'd be. Usually they knew the score and since it was early in the season, it was mostly just, "Sure whatever." By the end I'd rediscovered my love of calling every worker "boss."
Above: A handful of the couple-dozen posters I put up in Windsor Terrace and Kensington. There's much debate over the utility (and politics) of the tactic, but it was certainly fun to stake out a presence in the neighborhood and chat with folks.
There was a downside of my hype, though. I made a little Twitter post about my hustle that week, because I was really enjoying the work and felt DSA sometimes got a bad rap for its efforts. There's plenty to criticize about the org, but I wanted to make a point that there's always a bunch going on, and the volunteers are working people too. Unfortunately I was immediately attacked by right-wing trolls. I (mostly) kept my cool by staying myself and not giving in to the flame war of online personae, but it was a thorny reminder that I'd really rather keep my head down. The clout game is dicey and doesn't play well with my attention span.
Defund Research Team:
Since summer 2020, I'd been closely orbiting the various narratives around prison and police abolition nationally, and was looking to get more involved in DSA's #DefundNYPD here in NYC. The Research subcommittee had a bunch of interesting ways to get involved, but I'd kept missing the orientations. So on February 8th I finally just dove in and started attending the biweekly Research meetings.
It was a good time to join. There had been a huge amount of work done compiling policy and budget research, comparative city case studies, city council candidate platforms, and more. But people were starting to burn out, and I was eager to dive in. That was how I came to work on the NYC Public Safety Pledge, where I started by contacting candidates to clarify their stances on public safety generally and Defund specifically. As February went on and I slipped down the Google Sheets rabbit hole, I took on a bigger role managing the data collection so far, and mapping our potential support across the city.
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Well, I'd intended to get caught up after slogging through that last beast of a Monthly Update, but clearly I needed some space. Writing that January post back in May 2020 was like an exorcism-- one of the first attempts to really heal and move on instead of displacing my anxiety and urgency into organizing. But as we'll see, things kept up like that through March...