Posted by grillcover on May 21, 2022
Originally published: 12/18/2020
Reflections: (September - November 2020)
The periodicity of my posts in 2020 is like a collapsing wave-- my last post covered the first eight months, then this post covering the past three; perhaps I'll get back to a steady monthly wavelength for the new year. I'd better-- giving three months the full treatment has made this post, erm, too long.
I've decided to break this post into two major sections: life & art, and protest & organizing by issue.
Life & Art
The deluge of freelance transcription from the end of the summer continued through September and October and until the election, squeezing most of my spare moments as I struggled to stay involved in the movement and keep a grip on my life. But I was buoyed when my application for NY rent relief went through, which took the sting out of the several months of lost income. Unbelievably, I was one of only 15,000 people who qualified, leaving $60 million the feds were about to take back-- though apparently Cuomo is easing the restrictions.
For the time being, at least, it appears economic activity has adapted enough to pandemic conditions that transcription remains decent remote work. For that, I consider myself extremely fortunate, and am very grateful. I just wish it weren't so tied to increased economic activity. If we're not paid to stay home soon, January/February will be a disaster.
Above: My view from Colorado into Kansas on the long road back, March 2020.
But the last few months haven't just been slogging through endless transcripts and stressing about paperwork (though that has been a significant portion of it). With enough distance from the failed Bernie campaign and the mildly traumatic end of my road trip, I was able to go back and finish writing up my Twitter travelogue.
It was difficult keeping all the tenses straight, trying to capture how it felt with endlessly updating news cycles about the campaign and the virus, sorting out what what we know now and what I knew or imagined at the time.
That thread starts off as my naïve, last ditch effort to have faith in the electoral process, and by the end it's either my "how I became an organizer" tale or my supervillain origin story. Either way I know I'll be glad for the documentation.
More recently I've begun to migrate my "Main" Twitter presence from my more-or-less IRL account @bizarrojenkz to the @grillc0v3r account (formerly @grillcover_games). I'm hoping that having a less project-specific, and more persona-specific outlet will allow me to feel less inhibited when posting. I have deeper thoughts around "digital dysphoria" that I'd love to unpack someday, but for now I'll move on.
I was originally going to put the chestnuts under "organizing" but really, since I'm all about that chestnut life these days I gotta put it up here. In any case, they've arrived, and they're beautiful!
Above: 113 embryonic potentialities of 2,000+ years of food and shelter each.
Actually, one of the varieties was infested with weevils, and I highly doubt I'll see much yield from them. Those were the smaller "Madison" nuts, that were supposedly sweet nuts on fast-growing trees. Luckily, the lovely big "Qing" Chinese nuts appear to be fine, and the one I roasted (poorly) tasted great.
I've packed them in peat & soil and put them in my refrigerator for the winter. There they'll stay until spring, when they'll be ready to plant in outdoor beds or pots. I have a few ideas on where to eventually plant the trees. I'll have to make a Chestnut Mega Post based on what I put together for the Build Soil forum, but suffice it to say: I'm very excited that I managed to finally get the ball rolling on this.
The last couple of weeks have been particularly productive and encouraging overall. I may have finally found a workflow for my endless, aging "To-Do"s that actually gets them done alongside my rent-paying work. I might even be able to regulate it all without burn-out, but that remains to be seen-- we'll have to get through this upcoming week of action first. You know the jingle: "Maybe he's born with it... Maybe it's mania."
Protest & Organizing
In looking back, I've gotten around quite a bit. On the one hand, it's great to have been a foot soldier moving between various sites of struggle, learning from different people and plugging into many fights. On the other hand, I'm sure deeper, more sustained work is desperately needed in each of these areas from people who make it their entire focus.
But I'm really not trying to lead anything right now. My schedule's too erratic to be depended upon. I have so much to learn, and I'm surrounded by competent people helping me along. Much better, I think, to keep finding ways to continuously support these interwoven struggles as much as possible until I've really got my feet under me. I'm grateful for the work of the journalists in the street, as well as the NYC-DSA and its community partners for making it so easy to stay plugged in.
School Reopening & COVID-19 Justice
Near the end of August a Strike Solidarity Group formed to support UFT teachers, with the MORE caucus leading the threat of strike in the union's negotiations. NYC was the only major metro area considering in-person classes, and experts believed this could help kick off the long-awaited Fall/Winter COVID spike. And for hybrid and remote learners, the inequities were stark.
The purpose of the Solidarity Group (inspired by work in Chicago) was to help support teachers with protest actions, and raise awareness of the issues and potentially monetary support for the strikers. By contract, UFT teachers would lose two days of pay for every day striking-- it's an expensive, last-resort tactic. One old radical teacher on the organizing call suggested open air, COVID-safe freedom schools to support students during a potential strike. A deal was made to prevent the strike-- but NYC was ready.
On September 4th I attended the Rally for Safe Education in Manhattan, and along with teachers, students, parents, and advocates marched on Tweed Hall to double down on a list of demands for the City. A two-week delay wasn't enough to prepare schools or students for safe learning. More testing, inspections, and supports were needed.
On the first day of in-person school, September 21st, (my birthday) I marched and rallied with MORE organizers and the Solidarity Campaign at Brooklyn Borough hall. Even with the school delay and remaining COVID restrictions, New York's Fall trend upward was beginning early. Anything besides full remote was only going to prolong the chaos in classrooms and hospitals alike.
When we first arrived at the courthouse I cringed at the irony of displacing skateboarders and other kids hanging out in the square to rally for their sake. But by the end, one of the organizers (also a school teacher) had pulled the skateboarders aside and given them signs and the lowdown so they could have fun protesting for NY1 and other reporters.
Since then, due to the concessions and repairs won by teachers & advocates, and the widespread adoption of remote learning, schools have been relatively safe. But now that the citywide COVID cases are surging again, the din around whether to close the schools is obscuring the fact that the Mayor, DOE, and UFT leadership's missteps had been predicted from day one.
#DefundNYPD
After a riotous summer, disappointing City Budget, and the eventual breakup of Abolition Park, the DefundNYPD campaign moved into the longer-term phases: mass public education & awareness, city budget research, and replacing city councilors.
But things erupted on September 23rd when a Louisville grand jury came back with no indictments of the police in the murder of Breonna Taylor. We didn't even know at the time how shady the grand jury situation was-- but that night nationwide spontaneous actions sprang up. It had some of that raw energy from the first weekend, but shaped by the experience of months in the streets.
Unfortunately, some of that experience was, "Splintering into camps / Making marches into grifts / Controlling how people protest." That counterinsurgent streak was no more evident than when, shortly after we'd gathered at Atlantic-Barclays, a barely audible speaker had everyone take a second knee, for another 8 minutes 46 seconds, and proceeded to spell out her Instagram handle. Which, yes, was the same as her CashApp.
A thousand people ready to riot & tear the system asunder in Breonna's name-- again kneeling, letting their righteous rage and despair be extracted, sublimated into digital commodity. Solidarity shouldn't feel like a complete misuse of revolutionary energy.
By the end we'd taken two bridges, gone back and forth to Manhattan, thoroughly expended ourselves, and accomplished what? The police gave the march some room, but many of the protesters were out in force policing themselves and each other. Like, on the one hand, it makes sense to stay clear of the sidewalks so bike marshals can quickly make it through the crowd. That's just good protesting-- getting those bikes forward to intersections is an important safety consideration in an era of politicized vehicular assault.
But did the megaphone-wielding chant-leader need to hit people point blank with dispersal orders from the sidewalk the whole time? If you look closely at the original flier design that I posted above-- a template circulated by antifascists and BLM protesters nationwide, replicated as the rallying call in a dozen major cities-- it specifically says around the entire border: "No Good Cops. No Bad Protesters. No Megaphones. No Peace Police."
On my way to the train I overheard two people talking. The (white) guy was relieved at the order displayed in this march, and said about the evening: "I needed that." His (white) friend wasn't convinced. Maybe her sequined outfit and rhinestone cowgirl boots weren't suited for 10 miles of streets and bridges. But perhaps somewhere in the grimy lower level of the Williamsburg Bridge it dawned on her, too, that this kind of release was a dead end if it changed nothing and challenged no one. Justice for Breonna is definitely not achieved through the ritual catharsis of some white dude. (He said, looking squarely inward.)
In an effort to dig in, I joined the Central Brooklyn DSA on October 4th for a DefundNYPD tabling session outside Brooklyn Library to continue the long, hard work of public education and awareness around abolition. We spread out roughly in pairs and positioned ourselves at choke points of traffic flow, armed with fact sheet handouts and friendly smiles, having deep conversations and inviting folks to the upcoming rally.
I think this kind of work-- conversations with strangers about substantive issues-- is a place I thrive. Each engagement is a guided missile of discourse at the hearts and minds of passersby. Each conversation is a puzzle of personal history I'm figuring out in real time on top of all the politics. I've found stage presence creates eddies of attention that draw in unsuspecting sailors.
Once captured, I know the facts and arguments well enough to run circles around even the saltiest real estate bro, or provide nonjudgment poli-ed to anyone willing to listen, while absorbing as much as I can myself. There's so many little wins along the way, too. Like how I got the Bro to concede that, yes, he agreed with "divest/invest" as an idea and, yes, he knew "defund" meant the same thing, but-- no, he didn't really have an argument, he just seemed mad at our insolence and huffed off.
I haven't been out tabling since, but it's something I want to do more of when the weather gets nicer and the pandemic wanes. I can see myself being a field lead and popping up events, too. DSA's membership has exploded, and if people can actually be mobilized in concert with like-minded orgs across a range of issues, the catalytic impacts could be incredible.
A couple weeks later I attended the DefundNYPD Mass March on October 17th, organized by the NYC-DSA in coalition with a huge number of community groups and other socialist orgs. It was heartening to see a return of the summer's excitement around the campaign, and this coalition of groups is essential to our work and goals.
After a great rally in Washington Square Park, with moving personal testimony and fundraising for underserved remote learners' laptops, we made our way around Lower Manhattan, distributing educational material about the Defund campaign and chanting against the police.
But inexperienced chant-leaders and overbearing loudspeakers are protest pet peeves of mine, and again ultimately killed the vibe for me. "Whose streets? / Our streets" is already problematized by discourses of gentrification and decolonization; please, please don't lead a chant of, "Whose land? / Our land." (I was hollering "Native land" because I'm like that. My voice is my vote in any action.)
Below: The final flight of the Giant Trump Baby balloon, 10/27, outside the PBA
One of the reasons the American police state is so entrenched is because of the insidious influence of police unions. In New York City these organizations wield vast unaccountable power. On October 27th I joined Reverend Billy and his Stop Shopping Choir and others at the Vietnam War Memorial Plaza in the shadow of the Police "Benevolent" Association's headquarters. While a spirited, eccentric, and ultimately wholesome group, Reverend Billy was pretty on point & on fire in his speeches.
Before the speeches, the Choir led us in song and chants, ("Not benevolent -- mad violent!") circling the plaza, outnumbered two-to-one by police. There were more than enough stationed in the plaza to keep an eye on us, but it was the platoon of officers a hundred yards away on the PBA building's property that drew the taunts of each speaker in turn.
I think they felt particularly foolish. Between the Stop Shopping Choir's flamboyant outfits and jeers, and the Veterans for Peace speaker's righteous condemnation, even at a distance you could see them shifting uncomfortably as they protected their union's right to endorse Trump and dox the Mayor's daughter-- to name just a couple of their most recent abuses of power.
Before closing we circled the building, nearly got into a scuffle with those very officers, asserted our rights on that privately owned public space, were coasted by a squad of bike cops in motocross armor, and were led in benediction by the Reverend under the Giant Baby Trump, praying that with the election just a few days away that it would never be needed again.
Now heading into the next phase, DefundNYPD (organized by the NYC-DSA Racial Justice Working Group) is convening monthly meetings, with smaller more focused groups working, among other things, to inspect the budget for opportunities to divest & invest to the tune of $3 billion next year. I've only dipped my toes in this work, but look forward to getting deeper once stuff slows down for the winter.
Housing
Having faced my own difficulties paying rent during the pandemic, as well as an untenable and unresolved sewer backup issue, I have been deeply engaged in the ongoing protests to cancel rent and end evictions amidst the pandemic. In New York, tenants fought for and received a broader eviction moratorium than Trump instituted nationwide, but even so it wasn't enough. And starting in October, cases already proceeding before the pandemic would be allowed to go forward.
On October 1st I joined the coalition of community groups -- including Crown Heights Tenant Union and New York Communities for Change -- for a rally, march, and direct action in Downtown Manhattan. You can check out the Twitter thread I posted about it, with more pictures and video from the rally through to after the arrests -- which had begun at Foley Square with a multi-lingual chant teach-in.
Below: Housing advocates pile furniture in the street to symbolize the evictions
The destination was 250 Broadway, a municipal building that houses New York City Council offices, the Assemblypeople who could take state-wide rent action, and NYCHA, the eternal foe of NYC housing justice. I held space in the street with them until police made their move. The Met Council on Housing had pre-arranged the jail support for the people who remained.
Currently, there are still three bills in Albany that would end evictions, cancel rent, and get people off of the street. Meanwhile, landlords across the city have been harassing and illegally evicting tenants wherever they can. On November 24th I joined the Crown Heights Tenant Union for an eviction defense in Prospect-Lefferts Gardens, just a short walk from me, to show support for a some tenants facing harassment.
The case had been previously reported on but there had been no change to the routine harassment by the new superintendent. So CHTU put out a call for a pop-up rally in front of their building to drive him off and send a message. When speakers called for neighbors to join us, I saw people coming to sit by and even open windows to hear better. I just held the banner and lent my booming voice to the chants.
During a brief standoff with the super, the organizers tried to convince him the landlord was exploiting him, just as he'd taken advantage of the last super he was now evicting. They knew the new guy by name, and appealed to his class solidarity as a worker. He was unmoved.
Eventually he left, and while it was a successful show of support, I couldn't help but feel sympathy for Kenny, the new super, and the tough spot he was likely in to have to play the goon to feed himself and his family. The whole damn system is rotten.
Electoral
It was an effort to keep my mouth shut about Biden/Harris in the run up to the election. I truly believed that offering more to voters (i.e., going way further left) would have been wise electoral strategy, but nothing was going to change Biden's position and my honest criticism would only have distracted liberals and centrists into fits of scolding. It was better we all focused on getting far enough over the line to prevent the inevitable coup attempt as best we could.
So I recommended groups like SwingLeft for volunteer efforts and Where It's Needed PAC for targeting local races for donations. I wrote letters for Vote Forward in the general and for the Georgia run-offs, and appreciate its sound strategy and easy system. It's also a nice, scalable commitment. I have many more thoughts on why an anarchist might encourage voter participation in a bourgeois democracy as rotten as ours, but I think I'll save that for another post as well.
Recently I've signed on to volunteer for local City Council campaigns with both Michael Hollingsworth (District 35) and Brandon West (District 39). They're two of six people selected for the DSA City Council slate, after having gone through a rigorous endorsement process. It was really interesting to see the 40-page research packet and survey assembled for each candidate as they vied for our endorsement.
I'd actually already met them both at actions listed above. Michael has been a fixture at the housing justice protests (including the eviction defense) as an organizer with Crown Heights Tenant Union and Housing Justice For All. And Brandon I met briefly at the Defund tabling event in October. Both face tough, open races against solid opponents.
So far I've just done some onboarding, and am currently amidst a fundraising push to kick off Michael's campaign. It's slow going, but I've had a lot on my plate and I've laid some good groundwork for a more concerted effort.
Antifascism
Last and certainly not least would be the explicitly antifascist actions I took part in. I realize in this day and age, openly identifying as antifascist ("ANTEEFUH") is something of a risk. Seeing protesters snatched off the street is no longer a common occurrence, and it appears Trump's coup is failing spectacularly, but vigilance is important, because make no mistake-- the police will have those exact same powers and incentives under Biden.
And as CrimethInc so thoroughly lays out in this thread, it's been the tireless work of targeted communities and antifascists that kept Trump's worst impulses in check over the last four years, and has allowed us to avoid the truly darkest of timelines, where America's most brutal fascism could easily (re)assert itself.
On the Sundays leading up to the election there were a series of Trump / MAGA car caravans around the country, including in NYC, that had turned out the violent far right. (These caravans would be later linked to Roger Stone...) On November 1st I decided to join United Against Racism & Fascism and Outlive Them NYC, a formation of antifascist Jews, for an action in Manhattan to counterprotest the Sunday caravan just days before the election.
We gathered in Madison Square Park and awaited intel on the caravan's route, while different groups rallied and sang songs. A friend I'd convinced to come along mused that the singers he'd have thought were cringe if he'd seen them online were actually oddly charming in person. It was pretty good vibes.
But apparently MAGA had chosen to avoid us, and instead would take the West Side Highway to their final destination upstate. In response we took 23rd Street and moseyed on over to meet them. Of course, this was one of those unplanned, autonomous decisions that piss off police, who tried (and failed) to keep us to one side of the road, and called for inordinate backup and bike cops.
I spent most of the walk explaining basically the entire antifascist position to a random guy who joined from off the street. He'd heard a thing or two about the protests back over the summer, and had no idea what was happening today, but was curious who the Proud Boys were ("No Proud Boys, No KKK, No Fascist USA!") and where we were headed. He was by my side asking questions all the way until I lost him later during the kettle.
Facing off against a battalion of police in Chelsea Waterside Park, with confirmation that the MAGA caravan had avoided Manhattan entirely to spare itself a righteous egging, there was a round of celebration. A few people checked the crowd-- was it really a success if the Tri-State chuds were still all gathering unimpeded upstate? Shouldn't we have protested their starting points? Indeed, later that day (perhaps out of frustration?) they staged an embarrassing bridge stoppage just north of the city.
The crowd didn't have long to bicker, though, because the police decided to clear the park. Back in the street, the original organizers were able to bring the march to a natural conclusion with some final words of thanks for coming out, warning about the police as we dispersed, and being safe on our way home. With that, they took one last parade down the block as a victory lap while my friend and I--and our inquisitive companion--headed to the subway in a different direction.
But when we saw the police charge to follow the protesters we doubled back and came upon cops kettling the remaining crowd, arresting organizers and journalists, and roughing up bystanders on this secluded Chelsea street. We kept our distance as the police established a perimeter and were able to get past to 10th Avenue, where we helped others stop traffic and draw a crowd of bystanders that seemed to slightly deescalate things. There were many, many arrests.
It was one of those moments where you could genuinely feel the cops paying us back for spoiling the Trump / MAGA display and for taking streets they hadn't anticipated. The action was over. This was personal. It was also one of those moments that makes me know that, however bungling you think Trump's coup is or however harmless you think Biden is, America remains a fascist police state.
But crucial to deactivating and dismantling that was, of course, preventing a second Trump term. I wasn't surprised the vote margins were closer than most expected, but I was relieved how solid the electoral college victory appeared to be. Even so, on November 4th I joined with many other New Yorkers for a pair of events to protect the results.
Above: The rally before the Protect the Results coalition march, outside the NYPL at Bryant Park.
The afternoon began with a gathering in Midtown on 5th Avenue, right outside the New York Public Library at Bryant Park. A wide coalition, ranging from relatively mainstream Democrat organizations like NY Indivisible, to community groups like NYCC, to political orgs like NYC-DSA had rallied together to demand an unobstructed vote count.
On the one hand, there wasn't much of a specific demand except, "Count Every Vote!"-- but it was a solid show of force compared to the right-wing response. "Stop the Steal" rallies would eventually amass in Philly, Arizona, and other places over the course of weeks, but this next-day turnout was pretty passable. It was an older & family-oriented crowd, so it was achingly slow and the chants were subpar, but nice to have some normies in the streets.
I spent most of the march helping the DSA chant-leader wrangle focus from the tiresome Refuse Fascism folks. (RF is a recent front formation for the Revolutionary Communist Party, more or less a cult of personality behind a writer named Bob Avakian-- not worth the time.) But mostly it was just a stroll down 5th Ave. This part of the day had long been planned by these groups, likely even permitted, and felt more part of the liberal ritual of opposing Trump than actually critiquing the power and history he represents.
When we arrived at Washington Square we were corralled-- quite literally, with gated lanes flanked by watchful police, in the slow swaying shuffle of the herded-- past the arches into the park. From there, groups started to disperse or break off as the official "Protect the Results" march ended. I sang a round of "Solidarity Forever" with the DSA crew before they left, and then bounced between an antifascist teach-in and other random gatherings within the park while waiting for the Everybody Out action to begin.
When I saw a group of about 20 people in black bloc arrive, I knew things were about to get started. Contrary to media portrayals, people who protect their identity aren't intending violence or destruction. This action had the same intention as the one before it: to push back against fascist overreach. The only difference was that this crowd rejects the notion that defeating Trump was even defeating Trumpism, much less fascism, in America. And that is the threat these folks face, which is why they mask up.
As if to prove the point, immediately upon exiting onto Washington Park East we were met with unprovoked police violence. A fleet of bike cops had swooped in to greet us, and one out-of-control officer careened into a protester, who shoved him away. Several officers leapt to back him up, sending the protester fleeing down the street pursued by a dozen armored bike cops cutting haphazardly through the crowd. Great start!
What followed was, for the most part, not much different than many autonomous actions since May. Fast-moving, zig-zagging through streets to avoid police roadblocks, cycling through classic chants, engaging folks on the streets and in those ludicrous makeshift street dining structures. We saw a huge amount of public support, just as these actions consistently have for months.
Compared to the sometimes agonizing ambling and lazy loudspeakers of the afternoon, the group cohesion and dynamic energy of the evening crowd was incredible. A hive-minded torrent of holy-hell water, with chants passed like relays over a hundred feet of air, drawing honks of support and cheers from windows even as we brought intersections and dinner dates to a grinding, embarrassed halt.
The only thing out of the ordinary was how aggressive the police were. I'd been in the streets on and off since the first uprising in May, and not since that first week had I felt such acrimony from the police. Things were still tense since the summer and protests of all kinds were ongoing, but if only for the sake of optics NYPD had seemed to cool off a bit. Not that night.
The first arrests took place amidst a sea of cars stopped at a red light as we swarmed the avenue. There was a flurry of action and police quickly controlled the scene, but with all the cars in the way the crowd just continued down a side street. The second, larger clash was over on 7th Ave. as we approached Bleecker Street. This became a large standoff that eventually split the crowd as my side doubled back up Barrow toward the park.
The final stand came as we were looping back down, just a couple blocks from the park, when the police kettled us and laughed as they unleashed all hell. (In that video, I'm on the sidewalk behind someone to the right, in the distance.) It should be emphasized that this was not at all a riot-- a couple of people with spray paint at a protest march doesn't warrant indiscriminate beatings and arrests. That they seemed to enjoy the cruelty shouldn't be a surprise.
Because again, it was payback. Their guy was about to lose, and we were rubbing their nose in it. The unofficial fascists are still too disorganized and unreliable (s/o PB and KR) so it was up to them to put us in our place. The next night they shocked the city with their outrageous response to the weekly Stonewall / Queer Liberation March that had been going since the summer.
They released most of us after about 15 minutes in the kettle, having arrested several people. The remnants of the group gathered and taunted the officers from the safety of the park before devolving into an impromptu dance party and dispersing. Since then, for my part, I've gone back to focusing on the long game.
Below: 50 riot police play traffic cop at Wash Sq. for about an hour after the protest.
Intentions: (December 2020)
There isn't much left of 2020, and while I have no illusions that 2021 will be much of an improvement, I will appreciate the symbolic departure of this wild year. I would like to spend what time remains very intentionally.
I'm fortunate to be packed with work through the New Year, and I'll be trying to grind through as much as possible. If I can somehow actually improve my financial situation this winter right before things erupt I will feel that much safer during whatever's coming.
In general for my creative practice, as work steadies and we begin to buckle down for a disastrous COVID winter, I'm hoping to start streaming on Twitch more regularly again and getting, quote, "back on my bullshit." As much as it pains me to use an Amazon platform, I do think there's potentially valuable organizing and educational work to be done on stream that I'd still like to experiment with, and it might actually help with work like the old days.
I also alluded to it a few times in this post, but I have some ideas for longer-form articles that I'd like to get out of my head. I would like to try writing up one or two as subscribers-only posts, to start a backlog of content, and just spend some time unpacking some of these ideas.
On the organizing front, there are a couple of major pushes at the moment. On top of the fundraising, I've signed up for a bunch of shifts for NYC-DSA's Tax the Rich campaign under way this week. And if I see any high-urgency calls to action, I hope I'll be on top of work enough to make it out. Now also seems like the perfect time to really undertake contacting the Big List of Everyone, now that I've managed to find a bit of balance and confidence.
But outside that, I'm feeling that a period of relative quiescence is approaching, and I must make sure to catch up on sleep, before my million to-do's.