Posted by aloe on Mar 24, 2026
moon in review is the moonly newsletter from me, aloe. i send one out every first-quarter moon. it recounts the previous lunation, from one new moon to the next.
and i did skip one after all, did you notice? i actually wrote a bit for that one, too, and threw it away. that feels like enough of a clearing-out gesture to kind of reset things, to me. stayed up all night to fix my sleep schedule .. solid timing for it to be the one that should have covered imbolc, too. accounts of slushmonth casted into the flame like so much broomdust
🌑 february 17th
and they were kind of grim accounts too, haha. the stuff i wrote was about the aforementioned breaking of the heater-boiler, which im so content to just leave in the murky mists of allusion. i did get a tape done near the end, which i cheat to link because its honestly one of the best so far. bought a new guitar, too .. i guess there would have been some fun stuff to write about. but you can just read all that on the website anyway. is anyone even reading these who isn't keeping up there by rss or something? (or one of my socials, ew..)
anyway, lets get to the right moon. oh, im starting a couple new jobs— teaching lessons at a local guitar center (im still taking private students too!), and playing/singing in a music class for babies. that ones cute, there's puppets ... and it's just kind of a fun new context to perform in. babies are a really different audience! it's still fresh, but so far it's been honestly pretty rewarding. guitar center's ok
oh, this was the moon with the blizzard! biggest recorded snowfall ever in RI :) neat to live through a historical event that feels at least kind of enjoyable and morally neutral for once (dont say climate change, let me have this.) i like how my new guitar was made in 1978, the year of the previous record-holding storm. it's a fun connection without really imposing any particular narrative significance.
now, the response on the other hand, there's obviously lots to say about public works failing our most vulnerable neighbors, the brutal demands of capitalism and all that. plenty of ink has been spilled locally, and by frankly better writers. i will mention the roving packs of shovelers .. i felt something watching those come together. people really are taking matters into our own hands on a different scale. i have to take heart in that.
because, the empire is collapsing now, right? it sure seems to me (an absolute layperson, but youre here to read my thoughts) like we don't really have time for political parties and stuff anymore, if we ever did. whatever your take on the revolutionary potential of spontaneous organizing in the abstract is, at the moment it's more or less what's available in terms of the immediate response to each new crisis, and they're just accelerating. it really feels like just "picking up slack" and "community defense" is gonna be the name of the game for a good while.
and if that all seems a little half-baked, its because it is. i kind of have to take heart in "all this" just being the death throes of the old world right now, too, just because i need that simplistic of a foothold. solar panels got really good in the last couple years. did anyone really think thered be a smooth transition?
the fascism has already ramped up so much more since i started these letters last summer, writing about ice rolling into los angeles. it feels trite to even mention that the overwhelm is an intentional strategy. but i think i have to be content with truisms that are true right now. i dont always have the fortitude or the skill to find a creative way to address this. i actually feel like i set a kind of precedent of touching on these things in early issues, and it was rewarding for me so i kind of integrated it into the project. and i suppose i am touching on it again here. but i think i loaded myself up with a bit of unintended obligation that i'd like to shake off with my winter coat. not that i want to remove such subject matter entirely, or even stop pushing myself to engage with my whole ass. but im just one little critter, you know?
🌕 march 3rd
speaking of stuff i was writing about last summer though, this moon we rode up to the studio and took our last pass at mix notes for the prior panic album. it's done now ! it's well and truly All Done. it's really wild, it sounds incredible. i can't wait for you all to hear it. i'm really so grateful i got to be a part of it!
it's kind of cool having these letters to look back on the whole process, too. i guess, ok, the topic of this one is reflection and rebirth, accounting and re-evaluation. moon in review mark two issue one. that's something i identified that i like and i want to keep.
then, idunno, im finding a new therapist cause my old one got a different job, i'm making some serious "pro/con/secret third thing" lists that i can't really talk about. side note though, adding a secret third thing column to a pro/con list really takes it to the next level. not every factor affecting a decision fits neatly into one of those categories!
i did finish a second tape just under the wire in this moon too, and i think it represents another real step forward for this project. that said i actually don't have that much to write about it, it feels like just, keep going. between that, the jobs, the band,, it's approaching kind of a full plate. not uncomfortably full, but full enough to just, keep going. that's actually almost another point of friction with the letter format, because i think i set another precedent that they should be sort of long, and i dont always have a ton to report, so to speak. maybe i can just accept them being a bit shorter for a while. or, try to write more about the little things. i liked the bits about the garden in the first few. that elderberry tincture really got me through this winter.
there's this flock of pigeons that lives on my corner because two of my neighbors feed them, and for a little while in february i would see this cooper's hawk come around and hunt them almost on the daily. it got to be kind of like seeing an old friend in a funny way. you know, stuff like that. dispatches from the stuff-noticer. i've been thinking about animal cognition a lot because i've been spending a lot of time at home alone with my cat. it hurts my heart how perfect he is (i'm also dialing in hormones post-orchi and titrating up on a mood stabilizer, lol.) i just want to give him the best little life in the whole world. i don't think he even knows he's a cat, or that he's anything? but i do think he experiences things like agitation and contentment in a way that's very relatable to how i experience them, or how the animal part of me does. being his friend and connecting with him on that level is honestly such a profound experience
this letter might be a little shaky, but i'm glad i came back. i actually feel a bit better after writing this. i missed it, which is a good indicator of the success of a short break. moral of the story, always stay up all night to fix your sleep schedule, it's surely a good idea you will not regret :)
🌑 march 18th
your present lunation began with the new moon of march 18th, waxes to the full moon of april 1st(!) and wanes to the new moon of april 17th. wednesday, march 25th is the first quarter moon of this lunation.
one prior panic gig (with me) coming this moon, thursday april 9th at as220. jb's also playing on saturday march 28th at lost bag, but that one's solo, not full band.
ok, tarot time ! ready ?
your card is: strength. pull your own cards at aloe.gay/tarot
oh man. its really her. i didn't even do my hair, i look all a mess. but i'll try.
this is maybe my very favorite card. its just, a blessing, when she appears. her like overall countenance, the imagery, her title. she is kind of cybele, to me, because she has a lion. on that, waite:
The only point in which this design differs from the conventional presentations is that her beneficent fortitude has already subdued the lion, which is being led by a chain of flowers.
[...]
[the "higher meanings" of the card] are intimated in a concealed manner by the chain of flowers, which signifies, among many other things, the sweet yoke and the light burden of Divine Law, when it has been taken into the heart of hearts.
the sweet yoke and the light burden of the divine law, when it has been taken into the heart of hearts! also just "led by a chain of flowers," a phrase which instantly etched itself into me when i was researching for my deck. he's so poetic about this one. and i honestly feel like i'd be gilding the lily to try and add very much.
she's strength! she's here to give you strength. the yoke is light, she says, the burden is sweet, if you're true to yourself. take heart! i could leave it there and be happy.
but waite does say this weird thing ..
There is one aspect in which the lion signifies the passions, and she who is called Strength is the higher nature in its liberation. It has walked upon the asp and the basilisk and has trodden down the lion and the dragon.
so are the passions liberated, or trodden down ? like,, ok, this is all a little horny, right? sweet yokes and leading chains. at some point in the last couple years i realized it's possible to read my illustration (happily one of my favorites in the deck) as a depiction of oral sex. i'd like to execute or commission a pornographic photo version one day. but waite seems sort of two ways about it, in the same way i actually feel like the whole book sort of can't tell if it's coming or going where the sexy is concerned. maybe that's me just associating christianity with repression because of my own experiences.
but i will draw your attention to strength's equivalent in the thoth deck, as illustrated by lady frieda harris. her number is eleven, not eight, following the older order that waite altered "for reasons that satisfy [him]self." and her title is lust!
and just look at her, you know. i think it's relatively clear what they're going for here. here's aleister crowley, philosopher-dude of the thoth book:
Lust implies not only strength, but the joy of strength exercised. It is vigour, and the rapture of vigour.
"Come forth, O children, under the stars, & take your fill of love! | am above you and in you. My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy."
[...]
There is in this card a divine drunkenness or ecstasy. The woman is shown as more than a little drunk, and more than a little mad; and the lion also is aflame with lust. This signifies that the type of energy described is of the primitive, creative order; it is completely independent of the criticism of reason. This card portrays the will of the Aeon. In the background are the bloodless images of the saints, on whom this image travels, for their whole life has been absorbed into the Holy Grail.
that's even more cybele stuff, thinking about the wild worship of the galli. actually, holy shit, this is just from wikipedia but:
The galli castrated themselves during an ecstatic celebration called the Dies sanguinis, or "Day of Blood", which took place on March 24. On this day of mourning for Attis, they ran around wildly and disheveled. They performed dances to the music of pipes and tambourines, and, in an ecstasy, flogged themselves until they bled. This was followed by a day of feasting and rest.
it's literally march twenty-fourth right now. i am going to stop writing here, and cheat and send this out a day early. choose your own adventure. she's here to bring you strength, whichever part of this resonated. happy Dies sanguinis to you and yours
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thank you so much for reading my newsletter! we're hosted by comradery, a cooperatively-owned subscription platform for artists and community projects. i host all my work that i can online for free; if it means something to you and you want to see more of it, please consider making a recurring donation of any amount on comradery (they added pwyw tiers!), or a one-time tip on ko-fi. anything helps a whole lot in my effort to build a sustainable art practice and life for myself. my website is aloe.gay, and you can write back to me at aloe (at) aloe (dot) gay. i hope you have a good moon, i'll see you on the next first quarter ~
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